I Got That A Lot

快乐的农历年!!!

Hihihi...

Frankly, I don't really know if this is correct or not. Whatever it is,, Happy Chinese New Year! I wish you good health and lasting prosperity. 

Long time no entries and today, I want to write about things that I always get. Hard for me to find the idea as I have to reflect on myself. However, thanks to someone special, now I have a thing to write. 

Probably, every one who knows me or the one who said 'Yeah, I kind of noticing that girl',,, likely to have and always have this thought.

She is quiet. 

I shall not argue that. True.
It always be everybody first impression about me. I am a silent and discreet person. Barely talk or show up what she think. Pros and cons everywhere.

Actually, whenever I'm in a conversation, I totally fall into my deep thinking. I love to think of other reasons and consequences if things could happen in other ways what are the truth about it. It looks like I live in my own fantasies. I developed this since kid and grown up becoming a habit. Fine, I feel so vulnerable now.

People always catch me off guard telling I like to daydreaming. I've got no answer to that. Yes or no. I guess both. So, I'll just pay them a smile. Not interesting in telling them the truth of my thought.
To those people, ain't because you're not precious but the matters I involved aren't important for you to know. Some things are better left unsaid.

Although I seem to dwell into my virtual thinking so much. It is so crucial to wake up. Often, I woke up too late. Realized on things that vital when everything had reached its end. A change need to be around the corner. Recently, I started to be more conscious with my surrounding. I'm 19 (still 18 actually) and to always live in an 'imagination' is a terrible notion. My present self is more important rather than an artificial life. I have to live with my present and future so I need to stop thinking about things that aren't going to happen.

My characters are not my personalities. This all that I can sum up. Get to know me and you'll be far after surprise.

Since I was 10, I've this dream inside of me. Everyone I met said, I couldn't achieve that dream. Yet, until now I believe, things could happen if we'd got the chance. In this case, luck is the key to the door. Even now, I'm still believe in that dream if only I shall have that luck. I got that a lot- You're dream is impossible. It is a dream that I never want to give up but have to let go. Some decisions will be so regretful as we make it but what makes life without any remorse,indeed.

 

Making Judgement

16th year of the 3rd millennium. Welcome, amigo!!!

Well,well,well... I bet you guys already waiting for this upcoming story...

We, people really love to judge others. Sometimes, we judge because we are envy, jealous, happy, sad or afraid. This is us. Human.

I also have this illness called Judgmental Disorder.

Once upon a while,,,

I was on a subway headed home when an old man come in and sit in front of me. He wore a long black coat with a hat. I smiled but he looked at me like I'm The Wanted. The atmosphere felt so uncomfortable in a weird way. 

When the old man adjusted his hat, I noticed her scarred face. Like a nightmare, I felt insecure and scared. Looking around and realized that the subway was full with emptied seats. Why this 'Grim Reaper' wanna seat near me? What if he has bad intentions? 

There were two women around 30's and a man in 20's who was in hibernation. I decided to move near their seats when the women stood up. The subway had stopped and this was far away from my stop. Oh, no! Panic attacked me and I was really afraid. As the women went out, a group of three big guys entered the subway. What a lucky night! I am the prey now. 

My brilliant little mind started to make assumptions. What if, what if, and what if...

Seriously, I did not know how or what to do. I looked at the old man and saw his eyes on me. Tears formed in my eyes. I don't want to be home late again,,huhu. God, please help me! 

One of the big guys saw me and instructed his friends to go near me. Do you ever feel like going into a haunted house and you don't know where are the ghosts going to appear? This is what I feel right now. 

"Hello, pretty girl. Alone tonight?". I started to cry. This was when I saw the old man smirk and I was full with anger as I knew, the old man must be one of them. A plan, right? I wanted to scream with hatred but the fear cannot be avoid. "Wanna join us? We are going to a great party tonight."

A tattooed guy tried to touch my hand when a sudden punch hit him on the cheek. Not only me, but the big guys also surprised. "May I join the party?", said the old man. Out of sudden, someone pull me up and shocked to see the 'hibernate' man was armed. Two other armed man entered our coach. I was so puzzled and soon realized that the big guys were the Grim Reapers.

However, the most tragic truth is the old man whose face full with scars is one of the retire soldiers who fought for our country. He is the one who make a report about the Grim Reapers, a group of man that did kidnapped people and sold them.

Remember: Don't judge people before you're truly know them. The truth might surprised you.

Film that Inspires Me

Henry Bennett, his wife Maria and their three sons Lucas, Tomas and Simon go on a Christmas holiday in 2004 to Khao Lak. Two days later, the massive 2004 tsunami inundates the area. Maria and Lucas eventually emerge from the swirling water, with Maria having a sustained serious injuries. They are found by locals, who transfer them to a local hospital in the city of Takua Pa where Maria encourages Lucas to help others find their family members at the facility. Meanwhile, Henry, Tomas and Simon have also survived the tsunami, although Henry is injured. They search for their families in various places before they arrive at the hospital. Henry learns that Maria is at that location and they reunite. Maria has a surgery, which she survives and the following day, the family boards an ambulance airplane to Singapore for Maria's further medical treatment, arranged by their insurance company.

This is a true story based on a Spanish family who had survived the horrible tsunami which devour everything in its way.

Five stars!! Thumbs up!! This was the feeling when I first watched this spectacular film. Well, for a genuine movie fan like me,,, The Impossible is really a breathtaking and heart-felt. The splendid plot and outstanding, skillful casts and production, no wonder, they did win a lot of prestige awards world wide. 

Lets bring out the major purpose of this entry,

Every true story portrayed their own moral values which could teach us about life and brace us to become better. 

The Impossible had taught me what a real generosity was. The Bennetts was on a foreign country which is so different in so many ways. When the tsunami hit, local people were the most affected by the current. Also, they were determined to help the outsiders and striving for others survival. People who totally didn't know them, spent hours to help searching their families.

Their human spirit was far beyond measure when they were willing to face the aftermath of the disaster once again in order to find their other family who had been separated by the waves. The strong bonds between the family members and the love that keep them close, forced them to become  stronger. Besides, the massive tragedy had put people into the same level. They assisted each other without concerning their conditions and surroundings. Because of humanity, people become united and worked as one though held in a merciless pain. In this critical situation, they brought out the best in them for others sake. Any aids in this state, would be valued more than we think. People face a lot of difficulties in life and be strong is an ultimate choice.

For those who haven't watch this film, I hope the movie summary and trailer wouldn't be a spoiler for you. However, it's great to watch and learn about the historical event which had cause a great loss to lot of people. The tsunami itself is terrifically realised with Mother Nature's fury portrayed in all its indiscriminate fury. Every thing that happen come with reasons and Allah S.W.T knows the best.

How would my life be different if I lose my memory completely?

NO, IT WILL.

If I lose my memories,,,

I would be like a very young child in a very old body and not be able to have mental control or memory of my present state and my future.
Isn't it scary that I don't even know what is me?
What are the first things I have to do?
My brain would explode with all those self-destroy questions.

Strangers are everywhere!  I'll be afraid of anything including myself. Feeling so vulnerable and fragile. Like someone can turn their back on you and stab you with a dagger out of sudden. Isn't it funny if 'TRUST' would be just a word? I have nothing to put my trust on. One second, strangers who called themselves my family would say 'Don't worry, baby. We will help you.' while for the other seconds, I would doubt,,what if, they aren't really my family?
My mind is just like a blank paper with absolutely no recollection of my family,friends or of myself.

Life would be terrifying with so much uncertainty at every step. My initial reaction would be sadness of having lost wonderful memories.Not just the important events which happened in my life but also the events of which I was a part of. It would be heartbreaking to know that there is no guarantee that I can live my life with any sense of the past.

No starting point!! I have lost in a black hole and it seems to stretch into infinity. Everyday, I would live my life as what everyone told me to do like a robot. For every single, little, subtle thing, I have to do it all over again and it'll be so hard to even breathe. Besides, I would never know if the choices I take may be the best for me as I won't remember how I lived my life back in the past. There would always be doubt on what are the things that significant and things that didn't matter at all. I might live fearfully, afraid of things that I don't know and days after.

However,, I can't refuse the benefits that I can get if I lose my memories completely...

Like a New Born, I can create a brand new me. Changing my attitude might not be a bad idea. I would learn to be more kind for who knows I might be a mean girl once upon a time. I will live my life carefree! Not remembering the burden of the past and other stupids and regretful things I might do would help me a lot to survive this life. There are people who can't figure out their future just because they are afraid of their past.

Making a lot of new friends. Maybe they are just my old buddies who I had forgotten, but I can assume that I'm moving to a new place and need to have a fresh start. Grow up being a strong girl is not an option. For me to live this tiring yet sweet life,, this require bundles of strength to encourage me throughout this world. I would experience many new things that may haven't being done by anyone else but me. Although it might be difficult and exhausting, I would never give up in finding myself. A lot of things out there are waiting for me to be discovered. My primary focus would be on being independent enough to make my life normal as it used to be. It would be like growing up all again Version 2.0...

After looking through all this possibilities,,, all I can sum up is,

                           MY WHOLE LIFE WILL BE A NEW GREAT ADVENTURE

if I lose my memories completely.

 "Memory is the most important function of the brain…above all others. Without it, each and every moment, of life, would have little or no connection with other moments...on both voluntary and involuntary levels."

10 Tips On How To Be Confident To Speak English

It's like when you watch Tupac videos online, and think to yourself,

"We need to start making some changes." 

I love the Tupac's things though it might be a little bit hardcore. He eventually tries to tell the whole world his thought. Despite of his weakness and flaws, he got a brave heart and highly confident.

10 Tips to be confident.

1. Mind your attitude.
    Discipline is all what matter. We need to be persistence while speaking English and practice even when you are alone.

2. Create an environment with the society.
    Find friends who can speak English too and try to found a group of people to practice English with. It have more fun when everybody enjoy the conversations and in the same time you can gain your confidence.

3. Rigid thinking.
    It is a necessary to have a positive thinking about your own confidence level because it can motivate you to be more presentable. You also need to have a high tolerance of ambiguity and trust that you can do more.

4. Read more books.
    Any reading sources can show you varieties of sentences and words. This shall help you to feel confident when talking to people as you will not let yourself repeat the same words all the time.

5. Watching movies and listening to English materials
   You can learn to pronounce a word correctly instead of the accent. Besides, this two types of learning styles are inevitable to be a confident English speaker.

6. Dare yourself.
   Even though, you may feel unsecured, ignorance is the best escape plan. Use the fluttering butterflies inside you as a source of energy and conquer your fear. Let go of the thought on what people may think or feel about you.

7. Self-motivate.
    Read motivation books and attending inspiring talk, living with high-spirit people. This all will help you to level up your confidence and trigger your willingness.

8. Focus.
    Concentrate more on talking rather than the quality of your speech. Although, there may be mistakes but at least you will be seen as a confident speaker.

9. Increase the using of the language. 
    Get your family and friends to talk in English. To be confident when you are with the nearest person to you shall be the starting point for you to be able to stand in front of society.

10. Hard-work. 
      Language cannot be done as you sit on the couch, swinging your legs without be bother to talk to anyone. Moreover, you cannot use English just in the English class and forget about it for a whole week, waiting for the next class. Believe me, for all the upcoming years, you will thank your old self for being so hardworking.

Thank you,dear readers. I hope you can do well!

 








 

Challenges in Acquiring English Language

While we were still a child, our parents would feed us with their Mother Language. We would just swallow and digest the 'food' without being concern of the meanings. Children are known as a fast learner compared to adults, making them to hold an advantage to learn a few types of languages in just one shot.

Do you ever wondered why we are not so good in English?
Bizarre, yes?
While we were a baby, we would say cat instead of 'kucing' but still we grow up being the low-rated English speaker(note to self).
What a lame that I still have difficulty in dealing with this international language.

Looking back in this life, I decide to list down my problems..
Here we go!!!

10 Challenges that I face in acquiring English.

1. Lack of curiosity and self-determination.
    People are hardly know what makes mastering English are deadly important. This make them got no points to acquire the language.

2. Cultural norms.
    We live and grow up in a society that produce barricade with English language. Besides, the native speakers are really stuck to their Mother tongue without any considering in the future of their new generations.
 
3. English subject as a last option.

    Other subjects come first instead of language. Norm people thinks that language are something you can attain even without any intensive learning.
 
4. Anxiety about making mistakes.
    Afraid to make mistakes can bring people nowhere. However, this is the reality. Because of their fear, people are fearful to be self-assured.

5. The nature and negative feedback.
    Learners always try to improve their language by speaking with their friends but some of them might tease back and laugh at them. This inappropriate response from people really can cause a destructive by the inner side.

6. No fun in using the language.

    When comes to language, people only think about reading, listening, writing and speaking. It's true but where are the fun in learning then?
Least methods are used to make language more exciting. Thus, people would easily get bored.

7. English is just inside the class.
    Students especially would not use English outside the class or just after the English class ended.  

8. Confidence barrier in public.
    Many people are afraid to speak in front of people and finally ended up unable to bear their fear. Some do not have courage to dare their selves. This people are hard to believe in what they capable of.

9. Less supports and motivations.
    Peers, families and teachers are not giving much attention to the learners making them discourage to speak English.

10. Vocabulary and grammar limitations.
     Learners who are so lazy to even read an article is more hurt in acquiring English language as they may have low vocabularies and grammar mastering.


This is among the biggest challenges for me in mastering English as a second language. The walls I built inside seems to have no ends but I need to put it my self in order to survive in this insidious yet alluring world.

Miracles start to happen when you give as much energy to your dreams as you do to your fears.